baby brain is no joke...

baby brain... "momnesia"

When you get pregnant they say that you're so preoccupied with preparing for baby's arrival that you tend to "slip up," or become a little "forgetful." #totalunderstatement

Here are a few funny moments that myself and some of my friends have experienced...

I once took another person's grocery cart at the market down an entire isle before I realized what I had done.

I left for spin class without my spin shoes.

A friend of mine in Houston once put a hair dryer away with the pots and pans and couldn't find it for weeks.

I left my groceries in the car for 6 hours after I got home.

My friend left her keys in the ignition of her car overnight on the street... lucky for her it was a well lit street!

I set a date for 3 people I was interviewing to go to a yoga class and didn't check the schedule to confirm that there was a class. There wasn't... I had to take the 3 girls to a nearby bar to interview! #professional

A friend in New Jersey put pacifiers and nipples in boiling water to sanitize them, ran upstairs for one quick thing - got distracted and didn't remember until all the water was gone and they completely melted in the pot on the stove. All except the nipples, those didn't melt. Just 2 nipples in a pool of boiling plastic!

I woke up and fed my dog but never took her out for a walk. I didn't realize until I left for work what I had done.

A friend in Chicago put her car keys and phone in the refrigerator. Her husband found them a few hours later.

With 5 weeks left, I have a feeling I'll have more stories to share. Feel free to share this post with a hot mama or leave your stories in the comments section below. 

personal core values...

set goals that stem from what you value.

What is a core value? 

It's what gets you out of bed in the morning. It's what drives and motivates you. You wouldn't let anyone take this away from you. It's what makes you, YOU!

Generate a list of YOUR values.

Think about it for a few minutes. Write them down. Choose one to start with and ask yourself, "what is it about this that I value?" 

For example, I value finish lines. Why? A finish line for me represents going after something I wanted and achieving it. Crossing the finish line of a marathon is one of the greatest highs I've ever had in my life. I want everything I do to be done with as much sweat and determination as I put into running marathons.

Be sure everything you do, every action that you take, is in line with what you value.

If its not, stop doing it. If you value your health and want to lose weight, stop eating ice cream every night. If you want to reduce your risk of cancer, stop smoking. If you value love and you're in a relationship that's toxic, get out! If you value passion, ensure that you enjoy everything you do. If you value volunteering, get out their and volunteer! It's pretty simple once you know what you value.

Why is this relevant?

It is so easy to get caught up in everyday life. You'll blink and two weeks have past. I've found myself in a place where I wasn't really generating any results in my personal life. Sound familiar? I had goals written down but I wasn't doing anything about them. Getting reconnected with my values reminded me why I set them in the first place and re energized me to take action. Sometimes all we need is a sweet little reminder.

make this now...

Last week, I was on vacation with family and we ate dinner at a lovely little gem of a restaurant in Naples, Florida. I had an apple salad that just blew my mind! It's insanely simple and easy to recreate. Here is what you need:

1 Green Apple (make sure its chilled!)
A little bit of Manchego cheese (type of Spanish cheese)
Chives (optional but delicious)
Dash of EVOO ( Make your kitchen look fancy with this!)
Quick squeeze of lemon juice

Use a mandolin to shred the apple and the cheese. A mandolin will make your life 100 times easier! Check out this oneDon't have a mandolin? Use a knife and chop like matchsticks (see picture below.) Toss in a bowl with fresh chopped chives and the EVOO and lemon.

Plate up...eat up! Enjoy.

218 days...

I've been pregnant for 218 days... and last night sh*t got real.

Last week we attended childbirth class with a local doula and last night night we toured the hospital. That's right! We're having a baby in 9 weeks! Walking the halls of the hospital made it so real. This is happening.

It's such an exciting time. It's also pretty scary. We are venturing unknown waters. All we can do is prepare ourselves as best we can and know that everything will be OK, and probably better than OK.

My goal is to have an intervention free, natural hospital birth. No drugs, no epidural. This will be the absolute most physically and mentally challenging goal I'll probably ever take on... AND I'M SO EXCITED.

I'm getting a lot of advice that I should however, prepare for the worst case scenario, so that I'm not completely devastated if my vision of birth can't play out the way I plan. I get that and totally respect that. In the end I know that my doctor and my body will know what needs to happen to get her out safely but I'm stubborn...

I'm preparing for our baby's arrival in a similar way I prepare for marathons. I envision myself at the finish line. I plan for the BEST. I'm mediating daily, practicing prenatal yoga, holding squats and warriors twos for what feels like an absurd amount of time. I'm reading books on birth (see list below.) I'm talking about my fears with my husband and we're squashing them. I've even created my mantra for when I feel like quitting... "I am doing it."

Do you hold yourself back from going for your really big goals by preparing for the worst? Prepare for what you WANT. Don't hold back. GO FOR IT. If you fail at least then you will know did everything you could and you won't have regrets.

I'll be sure to report back in approximately 62 days and let you know how it all goes. I'm going for it!

Books I'm reading:

Natural Hospital Birth by Cynthia Gabriel

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HypnoBirthing by Marie F. Mongan

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Active Birth by Janet Balaskas

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The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Rhonda Wheeler

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living in the moment...

Questions I'm asked on a regular basis now...

1. How are you feeling?

2. Are you ready for the baby to arrive?

In response to how I'm feeling I cannot complain. (insert knock on wood) I've had a fairly easy, breezy, pregnancy so far. I'm actually enjoying it. I get excited reading information and I'm mentally and physically preparing for a natural birth.  I feel giddy when I feel her move and for the first time in my life I feel sexy naked. (Okay.. most of the time)

Am I ready for this little monkey to arrive? Yes. I'm pumped to meet her and get to know her. Who will she look like? What color will hair be? Will she be a quirky as I am? 

My excitement for her arrival is much different then how I've anticipated things in the past. It went a little like this...

In high school all I wanted was to be in college

In college all I wanted was a big girl job 

Then I couldn't wait to get engaged

Then I couldn't wait for the wedding 

Right now, I'm enjoying the present moment. Okay, maybe I wish it was fall for the cooler weather, but in general I really am happy to be taking life one day at a time.

Every second I spend with my husband is precious. It won't be just the two of us for much longer. It actually moves me to tears thinking about how every day for more than 9 years it has just been "Brett and Sam." I'm happy to report that we're growing closer every day.

Come November, it's no longer going to be just ME... It's going to be Marley and me. I'll be a new person. A new mother. My whole world is going to be rocked and I'll be ready for it but right now I'll continue to revel in all the little moments I have by myself.

I've been traveling... a lot! While pregnant I've been to El Paso, New York, Austin, St Thomas, Columbus, Dallas, Vancouver, and in a few weeks we will top it all off with a family vacation in Naples. When we get back from Florida we plan to rest, watch a lot of television, and prepare for Marley's arrival. We won't feel rushed or panicked. We'll be ready for her.

If you have the tendency to rush through life, or hell even your work week, stop and take a pause. We only get so many days here on Earth. Let's not wish them by quickly. Tomorrow will bring something new and exciting no doubt, but what can you discover about today?

living in the moments...

Mel and I sweating it out at Ride in Austin, TX

Mama Hal and I met up in NYC

#couplesretreat with the Searcys in St Thomas, USVI

Brett and I in Vancouver, BC

Em's wedding in El Paso, TX

sick day...

I'm having a really hard time with something... I'm staying home from work toady... sick.

It's bothering me so badly. Why? 

Must be my ego. That damn ego...

The last time I took a day off for being sick was in high school... and I was most likely trying to avoid a test. I pride myself on being a hard worker so when I can't work I feel worthless, and that is a terrible thing to feel.

What I've learned AGAIN about myself is that it is OK to rest, to skip a beat. I have to take care of myself before I can take care of others and more so than ever with this little life growing inside of me. 

Are you taking care of yourself? When was the last time you took time off from work or life to rest and recuperate? Stress is related to 99.9% of all illness so don't let it build up. Know your body and when you need a break. As much as I do believe we all posses some type of super human power we can't always win against the common cold.

Fun side note!

My husband and I were both sick this past week. He took the typical cold medicines and because I am with child I took... NOTHING. We we're both pretty shocked to see that my recovery time was a few days quicker than his and my cough much less violent. Goes to show that sometimes letting your body do the work is more powerful. Most cold pills and cough syrups only just delay your body in its fight to get better.

beets and cookies...

where I am...

I have a plate of cold beets and cookies sitting in front of me. The only way for me to get in my vegetables these days seems to be by alternating bites of... yes... cookies. Don't judge.

how I got here...

I didn't sleep well last night. Probably the worst sleep I've had during this pregnancy. My jawbone band reads 2h 17mins of sleep. That sounds about right.

I decided around 9am that falling asleep wasn't going to happen. I might as well get up and start my day. Maybe I'll do something nice for myself? Make a little morning of it! I really wanted fresh juice but didn't feel like making it today so I figured I'd go to the park for a walk then head to Whole Foods for some veggie juice. Did I mention I hate vegetables now? Juicing is the only way I can ensure this baby is getting more than just ice cream and cookies to eat.

when sh*t hit the fan...

I get to Whole Foods and pick up some fresh fruit, veggies, and cookies. Cookies from Whole Foods are healthier right? I'm waiting in line at the juice bar behind a coupe of folks and when it gets to be my turn the employee puts a sign up in front of me that says juicer needs a 15 min break, then says "but it'll be more like 30 minutes." 

Tears instantly well in my eyes. Screw the juicer, MAN! I need my juice! My baby needs this juice! I try and calm my inner chatter for a moment and choke back the tears long enough to say, "Okay... could I just have a decaf coffee then?" She hands me a cup... I go to press the pump on the carafe and its... EMPTY. Without any thought, I slam the cup down and yell, "I GIVE UP."  I could see that the girl felt bad but I didn't care one bit. I walked away. I thought about leaving my cart but I needed the cookies now more than ever.

The dude at the checkout asked me if I found everything alright and I snapped back at him with a "NO." He wasn't expecting that. We didn't exchange another word. 

The moment I got into my car I broke down into a stage five ugly cry. I called my husband and started going on and on about how tired I am, how hard being pregnant is, how I am a bad mom because I don't eat vegetables, and how I need help with the household chores. I mean... I was out of my mind. Nothing made sense.

I just had my first real episode of what I'm going to call the preggo crazies. 

beets and cookies

So here I am reflecting on my morning. The first thing I had to get over was the fact that I said "I give up." I, Samantha Ann Halkias Bivenour, do not ever give up. Maybe I gave in a little today. Maybe that's the lesson I've learned. It's okay to give in. 

I understand I can't always control what happens to me but I do know I can control my reactions to what happens. But perhaps I need to go a little easier on myself now that I am with child. My hormones are completely different. It's okay to dip a little below the line. I just need to keep asking for help and support when I go there. To my partner Brett, thank you for talking me down off the ledge today.

Like most women, I want to have a healthy pregnancy, for me and the little muppet. I've been exercising 5-6 days a week and making an effort to eat healthy, without feeling guiltily about indulging here and there. And then I lost my mind over a veggie juice today... I think I need to lighten up.

It's OK to give in. It's OK to cry. It's OK to go a little crazy. And more importantly it's OK to eat cookies with my beets.

Up next...

figure out how to make cookies from beets.

UPDATE: I made them... they are DELICIOUS! Click here  for the recipe for these vegan bad boys!