sick day...

I'm having a really hard time with something... I'm staying home from work toady... sick.

It's bothering me so badly. Why? 

Must be my ego. That damn ego...

The last time I took a day off for being sick was in high school... and I was most likely trying to avoid a test. I pride myself on being a hard worker so when I can't work I feel worthless, and that is a terrible thing to feel.

What I've learned AGAIN about myself is that it is OK to rest, to skip a beat. I have to take care of myself before I can take care of others and more so than ever with this little life growing inside of me. 

Are you taking care of yourself? When was the last time you took time off from work or life to rest and recuperate? Stress is related to 99.9% of all illness so don't let it build up. Know your body and when you need a break. As much as I do believe we all posses some type of super human power we can't always win against the common cold.

Fun side note!

My husband and I were both sick this past week. He took the typical cold medicines and because I am with child I took... NOTHING. We we're both pretty shocked to see that my recovery time was a few days quicker than his and my cough much less violent. Goes to show that sometimes letting your body do the work is more powerful. Most cold pills and cough syrups only just delay your body in its fight to get better.

beets and cookies...

where I am...

I have a plate of cold beets and cookies sitting in front of me. The only way for me to get in my vegetables these days seems to be by alternating bites of... yes... cookies. Don't judge.

how I got here...

I didn't sleep well last night. Probably the worst sleep I've had during this pregnancy. My jawbone band reads 2h 17mins of sleep. That sounds about right.

I decided around 9am that falling asleep wasn't going to happen. I might as well get up and start my day. Maybe I'll do something nice for myself? Make a little morning of it! I really wanted fresh juice but didn't feel like making it today so I figured I'd go to the park for a walk then head to Whole Foods for some veggie juice. Did I mention I hate vegetables now? Juicing is the only way I can ensure this baby is getting more than just ice cream and cookies to eat.

when sh*t hit the fan...

I get to Whole Foods and pick up some fresh fruit, veggies, and cookies. Cookies from Whole Foods are healthier right? I'm waiting in line at the juice bar behind a coupe of folks and when it gets to be my turn the employee puts a sign up in front of me that says juicer needs a 15 min break, then says "but it'll be more like 30 minutes." 

Tears instantly well in my eyes. Screw the juicer, MAN! I need my juice! My baby needs this juice! I try and calm my inner chatter for a moment and choke back the tears long enough to say, "Okay... could I just have a decaf coffee then?" She hands me a cup... I go to press the pump on the carafe and its... EMPTY. Without any thought, I slam the cup down and yell, "I GIVE UP."  I could see that the girl felt bad but I didn't care one bit. I walked away. I thought about leaving my cart but I needed the cookies now more than ever.

The dude at the checkout asked me if I found everything alright and I snapped back at him with a "NO." He wasn't expecting that. We didn't exchange another word. 

The moment I got into my car I broke down into a stage five ugly cry. I called my husband and started going on and on about how tired I am, how hard being pregnant is, how I am a bad mom because I don't eat vegetables, and how I need help with the household chores. I mean... I was out of my mind. Nothing made sense.

I just had my first real episode of what I'm going to call the preggo crazies. 

beets and cookies

So here I am reflecting on my morning. The first thing I had to get over was the fact that I said "I give up." I, Samantha Ann Halkias Bivenour, do not ever give up. Maybe I gave in a little today. Maybe that's the lesson I've learned. It's okay to give in. 

I understand I can't always control what happens to me but I do know I can control my reactions to what happens. But perhaps I need to go a little easier on myself now that I am with child. My hormones are completely different. It's okay to dip a little below the line. I just need to keep asking for help and support when I go there. To my partner Brett, thank you for talking me down off the ledge today.

Like most women, I want to have a healthy pregnancy, for me and the little muppet. I've been exercising 5-6 days a week and making an effort to eat healthy, without feeling guiltily about indulging here and there. And then I lost my mind over a veggie juice today... I think I need to lighten up.

It's OK to give in. It's OK to cry. It's OK to go a little crazy. And more importantly it's OK to eat cookies with my beets.

Up next...

figure out how to make cookies from beets.

UPDATE: I made them... they are DELICIOUS! Click here  for the recipe for these vegan bad boys!

wait... what month is it?

Surprise! JULY IS HERE. We are half way through 2013.  I believe in goal setting all year long but for you resolution writers this reminder is for you!

Where do you stand with those goals you set for yourself back in January? Pull them out. You did write them down, yes? Take a peak.

Here is where I am with some of the goals I've set for myself in 2013...

goal: I've saved $15K

status: I've banked over $10K already! 

goal: Brett and I have a surprise for our families this Christmas (pssst... it's a baby!)

status: It may have happened sooner but I'll take it! We're 6 months pregnant and due in November. We actually get to deliver a tiny little human to our families in Ohio this Christmas!

goal: I run my 5th, 6th, and 7th marathons

status: I set a personal best on my 5th back in January. With baby on board I've hung up my kicks for the time being. I'm keeping active and staying healthy so that I can achieve my new goal of running my 6th marathon within 9 months of giving birth.

Goals will change and things will come up. Totally normal. Its OK to revisit your goals. Ensure they still make sense for you and align with what you want for yourself. Don't beat yourself up over not achieving them yet. Just get out there and commit to taking action on your goals!

If you didn't write them down and you haven't accomplished any of the things you wanted to accomplish this year might I suggest you try writing them down now? Then share, share, share! Whisper them out into the Universe and start living your dream life.


*if you have any fitness goals i suggest a new app! you can find yoga and fitness classes near you for any time of day! http://www.lululemon.com/omfinder

little reminders...

It is really easy to slip into the daily routine of waking up, doing your thing, and coming home again only to eat dinner, go to bed, rinse and repeat. Our lives are non-stop. We're busy people. We have jobs, families, appointments, grocery shopping, jury duty, game nights, the company softball team, birthday dinners, dance rehearsals... the list goes on.

But let's not forget how freaking awesome we are! We can so easily get caught up in our day and completely forget to take care of ourselves (mentally and physically!) Take a break from the routine and treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated. SLOW DOWN. Have your coffee AT the coffee shop. Grab a mani/pedi on the way home from work. Go for a run. Sign up for a yoga class. Spend 10 minutes researching your next vacation destination, OR even easier than all that... Just tell yourself how great you are!

Affirmations are completely free and hardly take up any time at all so there is NO EXCUSE for you not to try it out. An affirmation is a tiny, happy sentence, that you say to yourself to promote positive thinking in any area of your life. They can help put a positive spin on less desirable situations. If you don't care for the word "affirmation" you can call it a little "reminder."

I used affirmations a lot when I was doing the Whole 30. Here are a couple I heavily relied on during that time...

 I am fit and trim and 135lbs

I choose the foods I put into my body

I am perfect the way I am

Now, I'm pregnant and I have to be OK with my changing body. It's really tough to not be critical and to not judge everything I eat or every pound I gain (and it's been a few, I'll tell ya!) But every time I feel my baby move I'm reminded of how grateful I am to be on this journey and any negative thought I have about myself disappear. My sweet little girl serves as a little reminder that I'm up to something BIG and incredible.

What can you say to yourself right now to give your self esteem a little boost? I would love to hear any and all affirmations that you've used and had success with. Share, share, share!

Still need inspiration?  If you haven't seen it before please be sure to watch this 48s video. It's one of my favorites!

Jessica's Daily Affirmations

You are AWESOME.
Samantha