feeling limited...

I was on a run (okay, maybe these days its a walk/jog) at Zilker Park in Austin last week and I had a realization...

I'm evolving.

I've been over the moon excited about our baby on the way but secretly being really hard on myself for a few things that I used to be really awesome at.

Exhibit A: I'm known for being relentlessly positive...

I have always been a stand for finding the positive in any situation. Well, growing a human being is actually a lot more work that what it seems. I'm tired all of the time. My clothes don't fit anymore. Standing on my feet for hours a day actually hurts my back. Sleep? What is that? I thought I was a sweaty person before baby but HOLY MOLY do I sweat more now! And when I'm really hungry and don't have access to exactly what I want to eat I sometimes cry. Do I want to be happy and smiley all the freaking time? NO.

Exhibit B: I'm great at running long distances...

It's no secret that I love crossing marathon finish lines. My goal of 20 by 2020 is fairly well known to those around me. I had plans to run a half marathon in August where I'd be 6 months pregnant and had visions of running up until the day I gave birth. At 7 weeks I was still able to put down an 8:15 mile but it all changed the following week when I could barely make it down the street comfortably. My body is not as comfortable running anymore. I tire within minutes and I can't ever seem to catch my breath. 

I was in Austin for work last week and we had this amazing run workout planned out for us. They broke us into two groups. One, was for anyone who could "put down 3 miles like it was no big deal" and another for "OMG I'm terrified of running." My ego was a whiny little baby about this... "but I love running! I've run 5 marathons!" We did one loop at the park and I got winded trying to keep up so I took a break and walked/jogged the second loop. This is when I had my realization...

My circumstances are different right now. I'm embarking on a new chapter in my life and a really kick ass exciting one too! I may not be all kittens and rainbows right now or be able to run a marathon tomorrow but that doesn't make me different in a BAD way. I'm evolving as a person and that's awesome.

I have had to put ego aside and ask for help when I need it (or a walking buddy instead of a running one.) I've asked my friends and co-workers to support ME by being a positive source of energy and my husband goes on walks with me every night. I'd been feeling limited but that's all changed now. I'm GREAT the way I am and I'm learning more and more about myself every single day. Pregnancy doesn't last forever and won't determine what type of person or athlete I am. What I've realized through all of this is that I'm actually quite the opposite of limited...

I am limitless.