This past weekend I lost my last living Grandparent. One of the hardest things I've dealt with since moving to Houston is the realization that when something happens with a family member I'm literally a thousand miles away. I've missed holidays, births, graduations, football games, countless birthdays, and unfortunately the loss of my grandparents both within the past 6 months. While I know my family understands it is always going to be hard to be "away from home." I wanted to share the lovely words that my father put together for her service yesterday.
It's a bit long, but describes my grandma perfectly. She was spunky, sarcastic, and SO QUIRKY!
Rest in peace, you pretty little red head.
Love, Sami
A Tribute to My Mother in Law
Agnes Donna Reed. I never called her Agnes. In fact I never really knew Agnes was her given name until just a few years ago. It was not like Donna kept secrets; it was just the way Donna was. Ask Donna how old she was and you’d get “A lady doesn’t tell her age” for a response. You were on a “need to know” basis, and Donna apparently felt her age was in the “not needed to know” category. My life first crossed paths with the Reed Family in the summer of 1965, when my Dad and I drove my Sister to BGSU to begin her freshman year in College. We lived in Canton so passing through Norwalk was part of the trip. There was no freeway bypass back then, but my Dad discovered that if he turned left on W. Elm Street off Route 250, he could shave a few minutes off the 3 hour trip to BG. The Reed Family lived at 32 W. Elm Street, and thus I would ride past their house many times in the next 6 years as I too attended BGSU, totally unaware that I would someday move to Norwalk and become a member of the Reed Family by marrying Robert and Donna’s Daughter, Carol Ann.
I formally met Donna in 1973 when I began dating Carol Ann. I remember meeting her for the first time and admittedly I was very nervous. Apparently Bob and Donna were in a square Dancing group and I came over just as they were about to go out square Dancing, so imagine my surprise when I met a red haired Cowgirl at the door! We’re talking full original western outfits! Here I am expecting to meet a Donna Reed like from the “The Donna Reed Show” and up pops Dale Evans straight out of “The Roy Rogers show”! Well apparently she approved of me as Carol and I married a few years later and thus began my life with my one and only Mother-in-Law.
The Reed household was the center of the Family activity as everything evolved around 32 W. Elm. We’re talking Christmas, Easter, Memorial Day, Fourth of July parade, labor day, birthday’s, and just about every other “somethingDay’ you could think of. I don’t think they ever locked the door, simply because someone was always coming in or out of it! Christmas was an epic event! Somehow Donna would manage to not only feed 25 to 30 of us, but also managed to make sure each and every one of us got a gift from her! That’s no small task for an Army of son-in laws, grandchildren and eventually great grandchildren! I for one learned quickly of her gift giving methods, and while the gift inside was for you the gift wrapped box was still hers, and it was wrapped ever so nicely so you could open the box and not tear the wrapping paper, thus Donna became the first true Re-cycler of Christmas paper. She was actually quite efficient with her gift box re-cycling, and made no real secret of the gift inside every year. You see Donna found the perfect gift for me and the rest of the Son-in-laws and every other male in the family. She would joke around every year asking us to guess what’s inside the box, fully knowing we knew exactly what was in it. Did I tell you all what it was? Do I have to tell you all what it was? Hooded Sweatshirts, full zippered, usually from JC Penney’s. The only real mystery was the color, and she even remember what colors we liked and got us all a new one every Xmas! I love those sweatshirts! I still wear them almost daily! I may wear them out but I always manage to keep one or two of them clean for just such an occasion!
Her “Going Green” methods did not stop at gift boxes. I don’t remember when exactly but I’m sure it was long before the rest of the county went on a ‘hybrid” rage that Donna bought a battery powered lawn mower to cut her grass! And I’m pretty sure Bradley just cut the grass a few days ago on Elm Street with it! I thought it was one of the Grandkids’ toys when I first saw her using it! Imagine my shock seeing what I thought was a full grown woman playing with what I thought to be an old kid’s toy and then suddenly realizing it was actually cutting the grass! Silent it was, but it got the yard all done with a single charge of the battery. Not sure who made the mower, but once again, it was a sign of Donna’s futuristic thinking and things to come!
When I lived in Norwalk I worked for Home Savings, as did Carol Ann. I remember hiring Donna to help clean the office after hours. I must admit I was a little worried about hiring a relative, but then I thought “What the Heck” I married an employee so what’s the harm in hiring my Mother in law? Until that time I think I had gone through just about every cleaning service in town and then some. We had a new office on Executive Drive and the job fit nicely into Donna’s busy Homemaker’s schedule. You see Donna would come in way after office hours, so I rarely saw her in my office. I knew she would bring Bob along to help, but I just got some notes from a few of her Grandchildren recently saying how they remembered Grandma taking them to the Bank to help clean! Here are their stories;
A Granddaughter writes;
“ We used to go to the bank with Grandma and Grandpa while they cleaned. I loved riding in the elevator and Grandma would let me take candy from the desks”.
Another Granddaughter writes;
‘We used to help Grandma and Pa clean the Bank. Well I don’t remember helping so much but we would have fun playing hide and seek, taking candy from the desks and riding the elevator”.
A Grandson Writes;
“I remember cleaning the bank with her and grandpa, I remember choking on a piece of candy once while they were cleaning the bank and throwing up because I couldn’t breathe”.
Anybody see a pattern here? Donna was a actually a very skilled marketing consultant. Yes it’s true, her secret is out. She would test all sorts of candy from banks and stores and report back to the manufacturer what was good safe candy for kids to eat. In return for her marketing reports she was allowed to take all the candy in plain sight for research. She was so successful that other companies would ask her to research their products and report back to them. I’m sure you’ve heard of products like Sweet and Low, Schmucker’s Jelly, Domino’s sugar, Heinz Ketchup and may other brand name products. Her reputation soon expanded nationally into Fast food chains like McDonalds, Wendy’s and KFC. She is most noted for her white paper on “SPP’s”; Salt and Pepper Packets! This was one of the big projects she took on for these restaurant giants. Donna would bring home all different types of salt and pepper packets from other restaurant chains and test them on our Family and report back with her findings. Today Donna’s research is the foundation for the disappearance of salt and pepper packets from the tables of many restaurants! Now every time you try and open up one of those little miniature three rows paper packages of salt or pepper please remember Donnas’ research! I know I will!
I can’t say I ever remember Donna being ill. A few colds maybe, but I generally remember her being very healthy. I remember she fell the day of my Daughter’s wedding just about 18 months ago, but made it through the wedding and reception, smiling and having a good time, all the while not knowing that she had a broken hip from the fall earlier that day. A partial hip replacement was performed that same weekend, and we feared that she may never be able to live at home again. Boy were we wrong! New hip and all Donna managed to get well enough to go home and take care of herself just a month later (of course with a little help from her family). With Bob in the Nursing home at that time she managed to keep the family flag flying at home until a few short weeks ago. She was also a skilled card played, some say tooooooo skilled! She was a master of board games like Yatzee and Scrabble. I know I learned more words that contained a “Q” and “U” that I never knew existed from her! She played to win! Often mopping up the floor with her competition at Bingo night. Just a couple of weeks ago I took her down to the activity room to play cards, as this was her first day at the Nursing home in Columbus. There were three other residents and a Volunteer at the table as I asked if there was room for a fourth, that being Donna. The Volunteer looked at Donna and said “Do you know how to play cards?” With a small pause Donna said “ Honey, I know how to play every card game there is, do you think I was born yesterday!”.
Last October Donna’s husband Robert passed away and we all gathered right here for his service. I’m not exactly sure what happened on the morning of the service, but somehow nobody remembered to pick up Donna and bring her here. So Donna picks up the telephone and calls someone to come and pick her up. Only she dialed a wrong number and somehow gets a total stranger on the phone and convinces him to come to her house and bring her here! Determined? You bet! Convincing? Obviously! That was Donna! There was never a dull moment with Donna. Her Grandson Bradley took her to Wal-Mart some time ago to get a new Microwave with her Great Granddaughter Alivia. They got a shopping cart with two seats in the front and Donna rode all thru the store in the seat beside Alivia! Imagine that for a moment! Brad said everyone wanted to take their picture, and I’m sure many pictures were taken. I just wish I had one!
Life without Donna will no doubt be very different. While the hit TV series “The Donna Reed Show” ended in the late 60’s, the real “Donna Reed Show” was on Elm Street in Norwalk. It will be strange not stopping by the house on Elm to see her. We all must now move on to a new phase of our lives where we are the parents and Grandparents. Donna taught us all many life’s lessons; it’s now our job to take that knowledge and pass it on. So I ask each one of you to keep her in your heart, remember those “Quirky” little things Donna said and did and think of her often. So as Donna would often say, “Goodbye now”. Goodbye Donna, we all love you and we’ll see you again someday.
